How do I enjoy this season when there is constantly a pull on me from the past?
I have been thinking lately of all the reasons why social media is detrimental to me.
Most people don't understand, or even attempt to.
Constant reminders of relationships lost. Those would would be "aunt" or "uncle" to my kids but have not even met them. Which means I haven't seen that person in 6 years.
People don't know how to keep up outside of it so I am reaching out to SO many people. Of them only 3 or 4 initiate back.
Why is this normal?
I know that people hate me because of some my choices. Words like "stupid" "should have your kids taken away". Oh, but I don't mean you. Yeah okay.
Comparison. I'm not doing enough. Not artsy enough. Not going fast enough in school. Not knowledgeable in my own life.
TOO. MUCH.
And yet I feel a hole? I miss seeing pictures and "knowing" how everyone is doing. And the attention, if I'm honest. The "you're doing great!" "your kids are so cute" kind of stuff.
My worth is in JESUS. I know this. He is enough!
WHY is that so hard for me to believe?
I can't keep longing for the past. Those in the past are not the same anymore. I am not either. I can't keep clinging a shadow of the past.
I must be grateful for NOW. My kids will be grown before I know it. My life is but a vapor and what will I have to show for it?
I need boldness to speak of the only thing that will matter: the TRUTH and eternal life. Do I love people enough to be their warning sign and help them turn from Hell?
That is the biggest question.
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